Please rate poem that Ive written? - lighthouse credit
give me some credit I'm only 13 and I just want an opinion, how can I improve my skills in writing poetry,
A river flows, the more vigilant
Darker than the midnight sun in the sky.
Endless forms of shadow monsters
, cackling as the drift.
In the stillness of the sea
A wave of darkness
But even here there is light
to see a shining example for all
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Lighthouse Credit Please Rate Poem That Ive Written?
10 comments:
I think it is very good. But read in the next version, which I reviewed as it flows a little better. When you talk about how their sound poems, read aloud and see if it flows easily from the tongue to increase, if it sounds good and clear that if you have a lot of people who are trying to say to convey their particular message .
A river flows, the more vigilant
Darker than the night sky
Endless forms of shadow monsters
Cackle too slowly
In the stillness of the sea
Waves of the fall in total darkness
But even here there is light
A lighthouse was high.
Do not use dots in the middle of a poem is more professional and better if you use semi-conscious recongized punctuation and commas.
Otherwise it is a very good poem. If you need somebody to help you send me when I was in a drought for me, my poetry, I always have ideas to help others with them.
A river flows, the more vigilant
Darker than the midnight sun in the sky.
Endless forms of shadow monsters
, cackling as the drift.
I LOVE these pictures! It is for the adventure, and I really want to know where this river and you hear the laughter in the shadows of monsters, what these monsters are available to them. These four lines are amazing never change!
The other four, but not, however, only works on the idea. What do you mean? I see that you are trying to put a lighthouse on Finish, as the light in the darkness. So maybe you can get there more of a transition between darkness and light. So I do not know, maybe very dark, but there is a light flickering in the distance and the poem goes into the lighthouse?
Anyway, love the pictures. A good start for anybody, just 13 years. :)
A river flows, the more vigilant
Darker than the midnight sun in the sky.
Endless forms of shadow monsters
, cackling as the drift.
I LOVE these pictures! It is for the adventure, and I really want to know where this river and you hear the laughter in the shadows of monsters, what these monsters are available to them. These four lines are amazing never change!
The other four, but not, however, only works on the idea. What do you mean? I see that you are trying to put a lighthouse on Finish, as the light in the darkness. So maybe you can get there more of a transition between darkness and light. So I do not know, maybe very dark, but there is a light flickering in the distance and the poem goes into the lighthouse?
Anyway, love the pictures. A good start for anybody, just 13 years. :)
Okay, but can not end. It seems that stops.
He begins with the river and then you talk of an ocean worthy test, which tells the story, either.
Age is not important poets were born and improve the experience of the people, but some of the most moving things that are written by children.
Leave your heart in his letter and not be afraid to accept insulting remarks that some people do not understand. We show, poetry, but often we write for ourselves and if someone likes what you write is a bonus.
Good luck.
5 / 10.
Mark time to consolidate their expression.
Well done!
5 / 10.
Mark time to consolidate their expression.
Well done!
Shadow Monster? Nice 4.5 star
best words Ryming
Good for your age. But read poetry.
Only ... Why the random punctuation in lines 2 a.m. to 4 p.m.?
Ooh I like:)
srry would be a 2.1, not really
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